What if Gold IRA Companies Were Cars?

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“Ally, you guys previously said Birch Gold were like a Volvo. Using this same logic what kind of cars would other gold IRA companies be?”

Bullion.Directory’s Ask Ally Service
By Alison Macdonald
Commercial Editor at Bullion.Directory

This was high praise indeed, because looking at the 5 cars owned by Bullion.Directory management, a whopping 3 of them are Volvos.

So Dale has really got me thinking… if Birch are a Volvo, what kind of car would Goldco be? Or Augusta Precious Metals? Would anyone drive a Noble Gold? More importantly would aspirational teenagers want to hang posters of a Lear Capital on their bedroom wall?

So to answer this one, my team and I actually had a meeting – and then the arguments started…

When the dust settled, who’d be an E-Class and who’d be the Edsel?

Goldco: Mercedes G-Wagen

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The new G-Class Mercedes is a masterpiece of technical innovation and engineering skill, wrapped in a body that is instantly recognizable, seemingly unchanged in decades. Both the ultimate in practical status and desirability, the same car that’s driven by Hollywood and business elites is also loved by military forces for it’s dependable ruggedness and off-road prowess.

And that’s Goldco. A long-established name, that’s both trustworthy and recognizable – staffed by many of the industry’s top experts – and with a perfectly honed process for the smoothest transactions. Offering a truly premium experience that’s brought in countless High Net Worth individuals as customers, the exact same company also helps thousands of ordinary Americans buy gold every year at surprisingly low fees.

My dream car is a G-Wagen because it does everything perfectly. And why wouldn’t I want that for my retirement account?

Noble Gold: Tesla

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Noble Gold are true innovators and were one of the first gold dealers to see the potential for alternative assets in what was a new and untested field at the time: Crypto. This futuristic asset sat perfectly alongside the world’s oldest form of wealth, forming a time-travelling diversified portfolio that spanned millennia.

We initially agreed Noble’s car HAD to be the DeLorean from Back to the Future, before realizing this was a terrible idea. Why? DeLoreans don’t actually travel in time, are horribly unreliable and came from a company with very sketchy dealings. Noble Gold on the other hand are amazing at what they do as industry-leaders for service and reliability. They score top marks for trust and transparency, helping lead the charge to clean up some of the more scammy aspects of the precious metals game.

Noble Gold don’t have a “plaid speed” portfolio but if anyone could, they would.

Birch Gold Group: Volvo Wagon

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So for Birch Gold, here’s what we originally said: “The ‘Volvo’ of precious metals dealers, Birch are the understated all-purpose champion of investment portfolios across America – and I love them for it. Sure there are faster cars, more glamorous cars and there are more luxurious cars – but when it comes to safety, reliability and sheer practicality it’s hard to see past a Volvo wagon. I drive a Volvo wagon.”

Today I’m doubling-down on this. 200%. Birch are THE Volvo wagon used in films when producers want a shorthand way of saying people are successful but not flashy, enjoy luxury but need safety – when they know quality but are individuals who don’t want to make the obvious choice, the cliché choice of a mid-range Mercedes or BMW. And remember, only movie baddies drive a black Audi.

As I’ve said my dream car is a G-Wagen. My daily driver, however, is a Volvo.

Lear Capital: Lincoln Navigator

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When we think of storied American automotive brands, Ford is naturally first in mind. It’s the every-man maker with something in it’s vast stable guaranteed to suit everyone. But there’s a Ford brand that’s just as American as the founding fathers and yet isn’t ashamed to market itself to those who’ve made a roaring success of the American dream. To those who appreciate a nuanced luxury and don’t mind paying a little more for it – we have Lincoln.

Lear Capital could be ANY modern Lincoln. American-made, a home-grown premium metals dealer for successful patriots, the company attracts middle and upper-class investors with a perfect mix of practicality and white-glove service, yet at a down-to-earth price point that’s far lower than many premium brands.

Why drive yourself, when Lear’s team of experts can chauffeur you through the whole process?

Augusta Precious Metals: Interceptor

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For years I’d have said Augusta were the Porsche 911 of the gold industry: a high quality premium investment brand aimed at successful go-getters. A brand that’s instantly recognizable thanks to a long evolution of what makes a company, or car, the best it can be. However, over the past few years APM has been on a policing mission to educate America in what to look for in all-too common gold market scams.

So because the U.S. doesn’t run many police Porsches, I’ve had to look to an American sports car turned crime-fighter as my APM choice and have settled on the Ford Mustang Interceptor. Still fast, still premium and still desirable – but now fighting the good fight on the side of law and what’s morally right.

Precious metals expertise with trust, ethics and a side order of baddie-bashing bad-assery?

American Hartford: Ford Pick-Up

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There’s nowhere in the world where pick-ups rule the roost more than the U.S. Indeed I’m convinced there are states where it’s legally mandatory to own at least one. And it has to be a Ford. Ford pick-ups are now more American than cowboys, more cowboy than hats and more hat than a Stetson.

And when it comes to gold dealers we can hardly think of any that are more American than American Hartford. From their very name, to the expert staff they employ, gold just does not get more stars and more stripes than AHG. And much like the range of Ford pick-ups, AHG have packages and low-fee pricing to suit everyone from a horse-wrangler to a C-suite executive.

It’s not un-American to not work with AHG, but it must be close to it.

Colonial Metals Group: Humvee

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There are a number of all-American and patriot-focused gold dealers and there are many dealers who support American veterans – but Colonial Metals Group takes this to a whole new level. Founded by a decorated veteran of numerous conflicts, CMG is deeply infused with a military ethos and mindset. With honor and efficiency, time-keeping and forward planning at its core, this mindset runs at what seems to be a cellular level.

So what other car could CMG be, than a High Mobility Multipurpose Wheeled Vehicle? The HMMWV or Humvee comes in many configurations for a wide range of applications, with maximum effect – and the same can be said for Colonial’s investment options both inside and out of a retirement account. No retiree is left behind.

Roll call is at zero six hundred – where can we enlist?

Goldencrest Metals: Toyota Sedan

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The vast majority of us want our cars to be practical, reliable, start and stop when we want. We need them to get us from A to B with the minimum of fuss. We don’t necessarily want a sports car, or need European luxury. Maybe our parking spot won’t fit a pick-up truck or an SUV. And this is why Toyota sedans are so ridiculously popular as they do most everything without us giving them a moment’s thought.

To liken GoldenCrest to a Toyota sedan isn’t criticism – it’s a compliment. This new company isn’t about pizazz and show – rather it’s about getting what needs done, done. You want your retirement diversified? Done. Good mix of metals at a fair price? Sorted. Thank you, and goodbye.

The world doesn’t need to be fancy or tricksy. But it does need to work.

Silver Gold Bull: Panel Van

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SGB are absolutely not IRA specialists but they will help set up an IRA and will absolutely deliver metals into it. As a massive e-commerce company delivering thousands of low-premium precious metals parcels across America every week, Silver Gold Bull truly put the ‘commodity’ into bullion sales.

Don’t expect luxuries, white glove service or hand holding. And definitely don’t expect a premium SUV or sedan – because SGB are rolling in a white panel van making door-to-door deliveries. You get a cardboard box and a delivery note and for a brief moment that van sits on your driveway before heading out to the next drop-off.

If you know exactly what you want, metals don’t get any more like buying on Amazon.

DIY Gold IRA: Project Car

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They say the road to hell is paved with good intentions and sure you thought setting up your own gold IRA would be a good idea. I mean how hard could it be, you’d save some money, reduce your fees and besides, what could possibly go wrong?

Except 4 years later you’ve still not got around to starting. That fixer-upper you thought would be great, is sat on your driveway, annoying your partner and your neighbors. Lets say you DID get round to fixing it – can you honestly say you didn’t miss out on tightening an essential safety component – in the same way the IRS won’t fine your ass for making a simple mistake?

All joking aside, the IRS is not exactly known for it’s simple rules, or it’s leniency – and when it comes to making a mistake in your IRA, any error can result in fines and back-taxes at best, and at worst, your entire account losing it’s tax advantages.

Safe modern car or a potential death-trap? Gold IRA expert or DIY? It’s your retirement!

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